It is difficult to understand the human being ... but even worst ... it is even more difficult to understand our own souls.

... our habits.

... our desires.

... our tendencies ... the ones we follow.

Everything defines us ... from the past ... present and ... a possible future ... one that might appear in the way we want it to be.

And when we start to analyze what is really going on with us ... but also understand that life is ... not just a collection of perceptions and emotions ... we start to keep wondering why the soul is always following so many contradictory directions.

Why today we feel joy inside of the soul ... but tomorrow we feel so damm overwhelm by many negative energies ... from all around us ... that in the end makes us feel miserable …

and the beautiful vibe is disappearing ... and never come back for long, long time.

It’s funny cause the Universe does not want us to be unhappy, but to understand the illusion of life .... with everything that means ... problems, difficulties, hard situations etc ... but to realize that always ... at the end of the storm ... a beautiful sunny day is appearing.

... and we should learn to enjoy it ... but we remain focused on the storm ... not seeing the beauty of the new sunny day.

I smile seeing in the timeline of my life ... a dear friend that is keep repeating me everyday, almost as a mantra ... “It’s a new day! Let’s enjoy it!” ... and i am wondering is he smokes marihuana ... or i am totally blind ... not seeing the same reality he is watching at.

Today ... what i know for sure is that my friend is not smoking anything ... but i haven’t the guts to accept my blindness ... and start treating myself.

I see no difference between me and my friend ... but looking at him ... i can’t understand yet if he is still suffering of disease that i suffer by such a long time ... the dance of my emotions.

I realized about this illness i have ... and i also realized ... studying the statistic that defines my life ... that my reality is just a reflection of all those feelings i carry in my soul.

The short story is ... amazing vibes .... amazing life ... negative vibes ... a reality painted just in grey colors ... and nothing more.

It’s quite a simple concept!

But i continue staring at this silly dance of such contradictory emotions ... going to the left, then to the right ... then to the left again.

The music itself ... is so damm boring ... but instead of pushing the stop button ... and end this dance forever ... i believe is a natural fact for the human being.

And i accept it ... even if i should take the decision of creating the habit of connecting just to beautiful vibes ... the ones that makes me feel the joy of being alive.

I suddenly realize that what i explained to my friend that it’s a beautiful dance of emotions ... is actually a collection of contradictory feelings that are ruining my life.

The message of my friend was quite simple ... “It’s a new day ... let’s enjoy it!”.

But maybe it was so damm simple that i did not considered it as being ... a good advise.

This dance was controlling my life ... and even if i had the solution ... i was not taking any decision.

I preferred to continue my life ... as a journey to lots of pathless paths ... not realizing that it is time to stop ... and ask the inner self ... “ What should i really do?! What is the path destined to me?! Which is the real direction i should follow” .... and maybe pray ... as this silly dance of annoying contradictory feelings to stop.

And one day ... i started to finally think at the fact that i am not my emotions or my perceptions.

My mind was playing around with me .... cause i never thought i should master my mind ... and not let the mind control myself.

And the mind ... keeps generating all types of scenarios ... or perceptions ... then different types of emotions are appearing ... and many times contradictory ones ... amplified in a silly way ... and actually controlling my life.

The truth is ... and i accepted that ... i had not become a master of my mind ... at least not yet ... but i started to desire as the dance ... to stop.

And not just to stop now ... but stop forever.

I don’t want to live like this anymore.

I want a life connected ... only at the beauty of what life has to offer.

So ... at least ... i have a dream.

The one ... of getting rid of the non sense that was defining my life for years.

Deep inside myself i realized it is a difficult change ... but once i’ve taken the decision ... and also keep it in mind as a powerful desire ... i am on the right path.

I pay attention to everything ... to all the details that are influencing my perceptions and emotions ... analyzing ... defining ... as in the end to always redefine the script of my life ... and keep me connected to amazing vibes.